The Constant Pursuit

Some people are fortunate enough to figure out what it’s all about. They get their life squared away. Many people gain a partial purchase on life and get it figured out as much as they can. I salute both of those groups. Some never seem to get behind a thing substantial and leave little behind them as a witness.

In all of this is a simple question, What did I wake up for this morning? Why did I get out of bed? Is there anything good that is going to happen today and what can I do to see it happen? Am I learning anything, am I learning the right things? Am I learning something useful? Am I learning something I can apply. Am I moving beyond learning and not living just to learn, because life is not made up of constant learning but learning to move to application.

Ask yourself the question. What the Hell am I about today? What is it that this day offers to me? Is heaven real and is earth real and can I join the two together?

This is the constant. The people who are most peaceful at the end of their lives are the ones that asked this question. They didn’t change their mind every day nor their job every month, but they lined up their attitude to maximize their future. We all pursue something, what is it for you?

Loss

What is loss and how do you measure it? It’s a bit slippery, coming out of the corners of the day. It’s certainly an emotion or feeling that often comes along with a memory. I walk by moms room and I think she might need something or I see a family picture and recall a fun time together. I don’t feel much pain or heavy sadness with our two moms. I think it will be much different if it were my wife or children. With our moms, it is sort of normal at their ages. Their lives have reached into 8 decades and they left many good stories behind. There is an absence of loss there. There is more loss with someone that is younger and has so much life left to live.

There are many kinds of loss I think. Maybe that’s why people grieve in different ways. Maybe the loss is measurable, I don’t know or really care. What I do care about is that I honor the people in my life that have moved on. That honoring can take many forms as well. So many lessons to learn as well. Honor your parents as much as you can when they are alive, that’s for sure. I miss both of them. Love you mom’s.

Mom's Last Day

Mom died yesterday, December 26th after a nice Christmas celebration with the family the day before. She enjoyed Christmas and this last one was good for her as well, even after such a tough year. ttyl Mom.

Freedom

Freedom is one of those things we all value. It’s upkeep is expensive, but worth it. It’s our home really, the home of the free we sometimes say. Just what is freedom? Are you free to do whatever you want? No, of course not. But we can do a lot with freedom. Much more than we realize.

A month long trip to Tanzania back in the 90’s opened my eyes a bit. The people were beautiful. The ones I spent time around were very happy. I think they had a lot of freedom to be and do what they wanted to do. I was told that Tanzania was a Marxist country when I went. I didn’t really know what that would look or feel like.I came to experience a lesser feel of freedom there. I was not prepared for what I found and I was not sure how to describe it either. I liked a lot of my experience there. And some things left me cold.

One day, in the town square, I saw a military truck pull up and soldiers jumped out to grab a man on a bicycle and toss him into the truck, then back over his bicycle with the truck. Then they sped off. I have no idea where or why. I had a camera around my neck just about the whole time I was there and whenever I got close to some kind of public or government office, I noticed military guards starring at me, making it clear that photos were not welcome in that area.

And bribes were common. I never offered or gave one, but felt the need to get away from the authorities at such times. In fact, I wasn’t sure we were going to be allowed to leave the country if I didn’t give into the bribe culture.

All in all, these were not life altering, or life threatening circumstances for me but they had a sobering effect on me. I admit, I was very glad to land in New York and be back home. I’ve thought about that trip a lot. For me, it’s a comparison of my rights and freedoms here and my rights and freedoms there. In one sense, the scale of freedom seems wider, deeper here. I feel less scrutinized, controlled, watched. I feel more free.

My main thought about that freedom is what do I do with it? If we admit that I am more free here than in most places in the world, so what? What’s the big deal? This is where this idea of freedom becomes practical. I can worship here like very few places in the world. I can complain here without fear of government interference. I can say what I want to say without fear. And I can go where I want to go without pulling out papers or giving a 20 dollar bill to get into the next county. A little common sense and courtesy goes along with those freedoms of course.

Take any one of those things away from us Americans and you might as well take all our freedoms away. It will be a dark day for freedom all over the world. America has moved the needle on freedom more than any other country in history. I’m well aware of our setbacks as well. We have hindered the freedom cause at times, there is no question. Nevertheless, America needs to fight on for this freedom, this experiment in freedom if you will. It’s not over, it has much to learn and offer.

Freedom can be compared to pain in one sense. There are many aspects to pain, physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, financial, and so on. Pain can be caused, distress can be felt, anxiety can be triggered by any of those factors. Freedom is like this as well, having some of the same causes. There is financial freedom, relational freedom, health care freedom, emotional well being, courage to be a happy purposeful citizen, not only of a country but of the world. We enjoy these, and many more, not so obvious freedoms.

We are not the only country in the world that champions and exports these freedoms, but if you had a chance to survey the people of the world that are unhappy in their land and ask them where they would like to go so that they could be happier, you would find out quickly that you are already there. Freedom is our home. I like to think that this is God’s plan for all people. Freedom on this earth as we can use it and live in it and a kind of unimaginable freedom in heaven that will be amazing to say the least. Till then, I plan to work for your freedom on this planet.

Masks

The Lone Ranger wore a mask. I watched on Saturday mornings. I never wanted to wear one. I liked the show, but it never inspired me to run down to the Lone Ranger store and buy a mask.

Masks, along with other things just never did much for me. I had one tied to my hip in the army, a gas mask. Nasty rubber, plastic, hoody thing. They kept telling us we could die in 9 seconds or less if we didn’t get it on properly. It was no fun flying with that thing. Try sleeping in it. The only thing you had to be more intimate with in the field than your gas mask was your rifle.

I never imagined when I left the army that I would wear a mask again. But I was wrong. Me and my mask go everywhere now. I wear it on duty and off duty. I remember the first day I wore it, I had it upside down and inside out. A nurse got me straightened out. Thank goodness. What a dork I could look like if I don’t look good in my mask.

For me, wearing it is not too inconvenient. I’ve worn far worse stuff and survived. I expect I’ll make it through this too. It’s funny when I think about it. I mean the Lone Ranger and his mask. Remember what they asked, Who was that masked man? Well, that’s you and me today. Masked men and women going around town doing good.

Fear Less

If gun sales are any indication of fear, then it seems pretty clear that many are afraid. How did we get so afraid you might ask? The vast majority of stories we see are sad, violent, mad, fearful stuff, right? Occasionally or at the end of some news shows there is the attempt to show something positive. I wonder if I didn’t watch TV, if I would be as likely to be afraid.

I miss Paul Harvey. Remember him. He could find the positive stuff, and then share it with us. I wonder if we could move in that direction as a country, and become more fearless. It seems like a good time to fear less, not more.

Anyhow, here is a quote to make you think about the times we are in, maybe help you to do a little searching about how people have handled life before us.

“In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.”'

Paul Harvey

Relationship

Everything is relationship.

relational

you can relate

want to die well?

live well

living is about relating

who have you loved

who has loved you

and who are you going to love after you die

America

Things are messy right now. Well, things are always messy in America, some places worse than others. Remember the song, Ball of Confusion, or Billy Joel’s, We Didn’t Light the Fire? Messy music from decades past. It’s easier to let that stuff go, I mean, it’s so old, last century in fact. It’s ancient history. And who cares about history anyhow?

Take Pandemic history for instance. What happened in 1918? Or in the 50’s? Or do you remember the flu that laid low my parents in the 70’s? I believe this is the fourth or fifth pandemic in the last hundred years. And this one is kicking our buts.

And we seem to have some kind of brain flu to go along with it where people put their brains on the shelf, all except for the part that controls our out of control tongues. That part of our brain is humming along like a runaway freight train.

Talking about how crazy things are today is normal. But engaging our brain prior to opening our mouths is pretty important right now. A lot of stupid, non factual, anti historical trash is passing for wisdom. I think this will become clearer as the light shines on 2020. It’s pretty cloudy out right now, But history tells us, the sun is coming back in a bright way.

Brain Care

Runaway brain. Thoughts, good or bad take over my brain sometimes. I love those little tickers you click to count something. Push the button and it adds one to the total. I wonder if I could set one of those up in my mind, to count my thoughts. CLick, click, click click. One of the first things I would measure is when does it slow down. And then I would want a clicker for both kinds of thoughts, one for positive and one for negative.

How many negative thoughts have I had over the years? And more importantly, what do they do to my thinking? And much more important is the recognition of negative thoughts and turning the brain clicks into a positive outcome.

To do this, I have to own the thoughts and their source. Recognize the emotion that caused the thought. Starting with the emotion is easier I think. I can name the emotion, therefore I can identify and clarify it. I can face it and deal with it. I can accept it or reject it, or deflect it. There is so much more I can do with my emotions, they don’t have to control me.

Thoughts are fleeting, here for a nanosecond, then gone. Emotions linger. I can care for my brain by recognizing how emotional I am and living off the fuel of those emotions. I think many of us think of emotions as our behaviors. Someone is crying, oh, they are so emotional. Someone is yelling, oh man, check out the drama.

No, those are responses or worse, reactions to emotions. I get bad news on my laptop email. I fling my laptop across the room. What happened there. A thought, an emotion, a response, no check that, a stupid reaction.

And my brain after that episode? A mess. So this is why I start with the emotion. It can be captured. Maybe that’s why the brain people are always asking, what do you feel?

Want to care for your Brain Box? What do you feel? What are you’re emotions telling you?

Answer You this, What Are You Thinking About?

If you’re like most people, you’re thinking about recent interactions with people and what those interactions mean for the next week or two. And like most people, they are probably negative thoughts, born of negative interactions, real or perceived.

Well, that just sucks. Glad I’m not you. Ha. Joke’s on me, because I do that too. The sleights, the probes, the innocent questioning, posturing, drama filled activities that make up a normal week are numerous, and can leave the most secure of us wondering what the heck we did to offend someone.

The older I get, the more I want to figure out what to do with those interactions. I don’t want them to control my thoughts or actions. I might want to be guided by them perhaps, but not controlled by them. I might want to avoid them, or I might want to gain the skills to go through them. You can only avoid certain people for so long before there is no one left to avoid.

So there is a trick that I go back to. It’s a simple question. Ready? Here it is. Do I really want to think about this?

That’s it. Then I spend a few minutes thinking about how and why I should think about it and I answer yes or no. Yes, I think some more about why the interaction is important to my future. No, then I begin parting ways with the interaction that had control of my thoughts. They are, after all, my thoughts. They may not be good thoughts or even correct, but they are mine. So I’m responsible to deal with them. Just me.

The next trick is learning the skill of focusing on what you want to think about. I watched some kids one time swipe the hat off of one of the younger ones then they played keep away with the hat and the one that wanted it back. They had power over that child and it really was painful to watch. I stepped in and stopped it.

Same thing goes on in our minds, thoughts get in there and play keep away, creating a painful powerplay in our minds. Go ahead, step in, you’re the adult. Thank like an adult, be the adult. What are you thinking about? What do you want to think about?

Today

I tend to take a lot for granted. That I’ll be here tomorrow, that life goes on, that I’ll feel reasonably well this week, that work will be, well work. I don’t have any of that yet, I do have today, safe to say.

Should I do today or let today do me? What does today do for me? Am I the same today as I was yesterday? Will I be different in the days ahead?

What will I pay attention to today? What will scratch my brain?

Can I nap, goof off, do nothing and call it a good day? One of the few remaining days I have left. Is today being well spent? Will I even look back one day and remember the quality of this day?

It’s my day, and right now, I’m just a miracle, a living breathing miracle, I’m alive. Knowing and being around people that die, sometimes one or two a day, makes my brain grateful for this day.

A little prodding for the day from Mary Oliver.

ttyl

Zoo's

So this year is one of our zooiest years in a while. The Cheyenne Zoo in Colorado Springs, the children’s zoo here in Lincoln, and the Omaha zoo. I noticed one thing they had in common. Feedable Giraffes.

You can stand at the same elevation as the Giraffe’s mouth, and tongue, and head, and horns and big eyeballs, and did I mention that strange, blue black, tongue.

What’s that all about? When I was a kid, you couldn't get near the giraffe’s. Now we can almost kiss them, feed them, heck burp them. Close and personal for sure.

Zoo’s are changing. Maybe you’ve noticed that they want you to experience the animals, not just see them and smell them.

I like it. The experience is more meaningful to me today. Memorable even.

Time to Give

I wonder if Jesus would continue to walk instead of ride in a vehicle. I think he would stay with walking. The average speed of walking is 3 miles an hour. So if Jesus walked at 3 miles an hour and God is love, then Jesus loved at 3 miles an hour.

I don’t see much possibility for love at 60 miles an hour. We fly right by the people we can love, keeping time to ourselves instead of gifting it to those around us.

Let’s walk a little. We will love a lot more. This is the gift of time.

Can you Buy Happiness?

I wonder what purchasing power does for one. I mean, can buying something make you happy. And if it does, what does that mean for ancient people that foraged for everything and bought nothing. What does it mean for modern humans that are too poor, financially poor that is, to buy anything.

What do we feel when we make that purchase? Some power, some accomplishment, some pride that I have something to take home, to possess?

i worked hard for that money, now I can apply it to something of value according to those that assign value and I can bring that item home and bring value and maybe happiness into my home. 

Sounds like non-sense to me as I think about it. Happiness is so much more than what you can buy.

Thoughts and Chickens

Remember the scene in Rocky where his trainer has Rocky chasing chickens around the yard to catch them? It quickens him as he learns to anticipate where the chicken will be, and even how to control and capture the birds movements.

I think of thoughts that way. I’ve been thinking of how thoughts have their way with us. They control the brain, the bird pen as it were. And I’ve grown tired of that. Where do these thoughts come from? How can I take back my thoughts? Am I held hostage to them? Or can I take charge of them, catch them, even understand why I have them and use them?

Yes, I think I can. Hold that thought!

Food for Thought

Our thoughts judge us more than they judge others. Most people never hear our verbal judgments, they go unsaid but not unthought. Someone cuts us off in traffic and we yell at them, give them a good scolding. A piece of our mind.

All we really did was aggravate our own minds and condemn our own thoughts. We self judged.

The more important discovery is why our thoughts have so much control over our words and actions. That’s where we need to do some thinking.

Food for thought.

On Judging

To judge is to cross a line. Consider the lines in the road used to motor vehicles along safely. One line is white dashes.cross that line and you are in danger of hurting someone and your self. Your chances of recovery are high.

The solid white line means you’re about to take your vehicle where it should never be, off the road.

And the yellow lines; well you get the idea.

Our judgment of people is similar. We have never liked being judged and never will. Yet so many cross that line everyday. If it’s a brief and small crossing, then the relationship may recover, even grow.

Yet most judgments are not to build a relationship but to vent anger and displeasure, even fear.

Judging  others does little or no good for anyone and does a lot of harm.

Stay in your lane, get to where you are going and others will too.

The Truth

Truth. Now there’s a mouthful. I can’t find much respect for those that claim to have it, or preach it. It’s like they have the truth all bottled up in a can or jar, can open the lid at will, and out comes this mysterious gas, the truth. You and I can’t see it, we can’t smell it, but it’s in there according to our truth tellers.

The more I hear someone tell others they have the truth, the more obnoxious and dismissive I find them. It’s always been a bit arrogant to claim the truth can be owned or controlled., as if to say I have it and you don’t.

We have a saying in my church, “They can blacken your reputation but never stain your character.”

The truth is, the greatest truth that is, is that the truth is revealed in our character. When you can backup your claim to having the truth with a life lived in the shape of truth, then you might have something to crow about.

Unfortunately, some of the folks who claim to have the truth seem the least likely to know how to apply the truth to them selves and others. A life informed by the truth is the best spoke person for the truth. Want to preach the truth, let me see it working in you.

Life and/or Death

I wonder how often I have used that phrase, as in “It’s not a life or death matter”, is it? Now that I am so close to the dying everyday, so much more feels like a life or death matter. I mean, it’s either one or the other, isn’t it?

Part of it is black and white for me, cut and dried. You are either alive or dead. No argument there. My interest is about life mostly. What makes you alive, breath, blood, mind, feelings, sights, sounds?

I’m thinking more and more about my claim to be alive. I know my body functions, my mind thinks, my tastebuds react, my hopes are real. But all that is not a guarantee that I am really living, fully leaning into life.

Spending time this past week in Colorado gave me a chance to slow down a bit and rethink life.

My conviction of late is that I am most alive when I am serving someone, empowering them to live their fullest life. When I put more of me into giving than taking. I still have to take in, but I will get more when I give. And so will others.

Let’s call this the Giver’s Life. This is truly a matter of life and death.

Some Stuff Sucks But

I scooped up the domain a while back with those words in it. I’ve seen a lot of sucky stuff over the years. My daughter likes to say that “that sucks”, when referring to something that I would say “rots”. But I’m thinking she’s more hip than me with todays lingo, so Sucks it is.

I think about stuff that sucks a lot because I’m around people. People tend to complain about the sucky stuff a lot. And I don’t much care for all the complaining. So I added the “but” on the end. stuffthatsucksbut. See the but there.

Yea, I know life sucks, and you can talk to me about it for a while, before I toss you out the door. For many years I listened to suck stories. Still do. And I’m not gonna stop anytime soon, but I’ve got a couple of new policies.

If I listen to your “suck” story, then you have to listen to my “but” story. OK? Otherwise, go away.

And if I feel you are cheating and not really listening to my positive views, then yes, go away again.

So let’s get started, got a “suck” story?